he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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