five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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