My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
