last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize