I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I can't turn off my feet"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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