so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Come see our sink grown plant.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
