At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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