it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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