It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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