The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
