i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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