Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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