We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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