fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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