So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
