her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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