Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
COCAINE IS GR8
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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