im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
