then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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