I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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