You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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