i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
