new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
