You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
