Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
