Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
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Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
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We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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