i may or may not be watching the land before time
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Panties = found
Randomize
