drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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