Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
PS: I just woke up from my shower
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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