Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
