i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
