we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
