he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
