so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
