okay pat passed out under dana's car
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize