So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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