Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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