True but thats because hes a fetus.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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