Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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