No awkward lesbian experiences without me
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
