She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
