She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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