How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
