these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
