I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
