rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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