Your tits are I can't wait for
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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