Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
