Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if you like me you must not know who I am
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
