Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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