Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish you could order shots online.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
