$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
