You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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